Gas Pains or Growing Pains?

I’ve been banded now for one week and I’m so full of gas, I can fuel a jet plane. Don’t forget, the doctors blow your stomach up with air, so they can see your stomach better. Well, as I’m sitting in my favorite recliner, I feel another wave of gas pains coming on. I try to pass a little and I sharted. I heard that word in a movie once, but never really knew what it meant. Until now. As I was trying to expel some of this gas, a little diarrhea came out with it. You don’t realize it at first, but then you do. Now, trying to get up from a recliner after you’ve had surgery is bad enough. Trying to get out of a recliner after you’ve had surgery and just shit your pants is tougher. What a friggin mess!

There’s something about shitting your pants as an adult that really puts things in perspective. I mean, it makes you stop and think about what you’re doing with your life. What brought you to this point? How do I move beyond all this shit and feel normal again? Where do I begin to clean up the mess I’ve made of my body all these years? I know where I begin. I have to make an appointment with Pat. She’ll help me shovel through all the years of shit that’s been keeping me fat.