Are you there, God? Its me, Lisa.

I used to pray. Not anymore, though. I havent prayed since I lost my mother five years ago. I figured , whats the point? He didnt answer my prayers then, so why bother. I used to pray every night. I had a prayer routine. I prayed "in order", not of importance necessarily. When I was too tired to pray or forgot, I would have nightmares. I felt like I was being punished for not praying.

I prayed a lot as a kid. I prayed that my alcoholic father would stop drinking,I prayed for a bike, normal parents, a boyfriend, and I prayed that I would be thin. All of those prayers went unanswered.

I figured my prayers werent important enough to be answered, but that didnt stop me from doing it. He had to answer eventually, right? He hasnt yet.

I havent prayed in almost five years and I sleep like a baby. I guess it really didnt matter if I prayed or not, after all.